Sunday, April 08, 2012

Being a father - II

In my first post as a father, I intended to bring out what it is like to be a father. Basically, my life in the first three months of being a father. What I ended up doing instead was spend the real estate on the experience of Oorja's birth. So, here I am, trying to bring out how the first three months were.
First and foremost, these three months were away from Shveta and Oorja. They both were in intensive care of Shveta's parents. Under the watchful eyes of the seasond grand parents and in close proximity to trusted medical facility. So, though I was relaxed because their looking after was assured, I was anxious all the time as they were away from me.
As I visited them almost every alternate weekend, Oorja was growing into a new personality. She liked sleeping (probably all babies do) but had a very delicate sleep. So she would wake up at the slightest sound like someone coughing, rustling of paper or the likes. This meant all of were always on toes, literally! Besides, there were a lot of visitors who came to see the baby and the mother. That disturbed their routine even further. This is something all new parents should watch out for; regulating the visitors. At the cost of sounding rude, one should insist that visitors call up before coming. Oorja spent most of the time with her mother and maternal grandparents. My parents also visited them frequently. I was always under the impression that she will take long to know me since I was visiting them only twice a month or so. But, I was wrong.
The bond between a father and a child is not physical, like with the mother. Its more emotional. It comes with being with the mother during pregnancy, holding the baby, putting her to sleep. The baby doesn't really care how frequently you do the chores. She needs to know that you care. It was during my short visits home, that we realised that Oorja had majorly taken to being put to sleep by me. She didn't want anyone else. When everyone else failed to pacify her, she surprisingly found solace in my arms. As  she neared third month, she started to smile when she saw me. This recognition, this feeling of being wanted brings about a sense of responsibility in a man, as it did to me. You now know that all your actions are being watched and mean something to an impressionable mind.
I reciprocated by being more observant and particular around Oorja. While everyone wondered why she would suddenly begin crying inconsolably, I was the first to observe that she was pulling her own heir! I began understanding when she was sleepy, when she was hungry or when she was just uncomfortable. These were small things, but were a part of a sort of self discovery for me. This is when  I began to realise what being father means and what was in store.

To be continued...